I spend a lot of my time talking about what people should post to get higher organic reach, build relationships and so on.

But today is different. Today, I am sharing some advice on what you should AVOID posting on social media. Let me explain.

We all know that social media has a dark side. It can be a vicious place, where instead of building each other up, we end up tearing each other to bits.

So, in the spirit of kindness, authenticity and protection of fragile egos (yes, all our egos are fragile) please review this list and DO NOT POST anything of the kind: They’re called Passive Aggressive posts.

Passive Aggressiveness has NO PLACE on Social Media

I have witnessed this more times than I care to admit. So someone makes you mad…you take to Facebook and rant about that “someone” who did that “something” to you. Your community jumps to your defense, sometimes making violent threats against the perpetrator.

I’ve seen people threaten to throw “shame parties” and invite the perpetrator, unwittingly, so they could shame them for what they’d done.

I’ve seen threats of physical violence.

I’ve seen threats to destroy their business, or steal their customers.

Mostly it’s been seething insults that make me cringe.

And all these from the “victim’s” friends – who don’t know the story, but come to the “victim’s” defense anyway. Sigh….

This actually happened to me. I started up a business (since then I’ve left it) and was accused of stealing logos, ideas and branding. It was ludicrous because I’d never seen the product from the ones making the accusations. But I logged into Facebook and there it was: the meanest rant I’d seen to that point since starting out in the social media world. But I wasn’t mentioned by name…could it be me they were talking about? Why didn’t they come to me directly?

Everyone on Facebook knew they were talking about me, and that’s the point: when you passive aggressively talk about people on Facebook, THEY KNOW. And THEIR FRIENDS KNOW. And it’s really, really upsetting. And embarrassing.

So here’s what you should do: If you have a problem with someone, talk to them in person, or at a minimum on the phone. Facebook is NOT the place to air those grievances. If you see someone doing it, post a comment along the lines of “perhaps the best advice I could give you is to stop this thread and go talk to the person in question.”

There are times when you will feel 100% justified in doing something like this. There are times when people seriously do you wrong. But before you blast about it on Facebook, ask whether there’s a chance to speak directly to the person/business and solve it that way.

If you post passive aggressive garbage on social media, you’re a troll. You’re a cyber-bully. And it’s cowardly.

You know why? Because there is a chance, just like what happened with me, that you’re wrong. That the person didn’t know they were hurting you. That the business wasn’t aware that someone on their team had done something wrong or made a mistake that affected you. But instead, you tear them down. Maybe you cause them to lose business. A bit vindictive, no?

You know, when I launched that business, someone high up in the industry approached me and asked me questions that I believed, at the time, were rooted in an interest in the product.

I now realize that they were likely fishing for answers, or to see if the allegations from my detractors were true.

It was years ago, and it still hurts.

So the next time someone truly pisses you off: take a deep breath, pick up the phone and tell them, to their face (or voice if it’s on the phone), what you feel about what they did. Find a way through.

There’s a solution for everything, but passive aggressive social media posts is NOT it.

Be safe out there. Be kind. Karma is a bitch.

-Rebecca